Last week, my advice on finding a business mentor was featured in Inc. magazine’s “Small Business Leadership Guide.” The article, How to Find A Business Mentor, provides a detailed discussion of the value of finding trusted experienced advisers and different approaches to establishing valuable relationships.
My thoughts appear throughout the article, but I thought the most important statement appeared at the end:
If you’re looking for a mentor outside of your circle of friends and family, how do you find someone invested in your success? You have to keep in mind what the mentor is getting out of the relationship. In the case of consultants, coaches, or especially advisory boards they have a financial stake in your relationship but there are other benefits to the mentor. Judson cites an innate human desire to help others, or put differently an interest in paying it forward.
It’s my experience that people like to help other people.
In other contexts, I have written about this notion. Two of the points I made in a VentureBeat article Learning to Listen to Unpleasant Truths, are (1) if you are seeking advice you need to be honestly open to feedback –and not immediately defensive, and (2) you need to make it easy for people to help you.
Here’s an excerpt from the article:
When I discussed my [lengthy] conversation with other colleagues and friends, many asked: “How did you get him to give you such a brutal critical analysis?” The answer was straightforward: He knew I really wanted honest feedback. People genuinely want to be helpful. It’s part of human nature.
I am often on the other side of the fence, and asked for critiques of someone else’s efforts. I receive calls from start-up CEO’s who are seeking advice, but quickly get caught listening to the sound of their own voices.
They don’t engage with me when I ask questions that might suggest radical ways to rethink their efforts. Instead, they focus on justifying their activities to date. Although they don’t realize it, they are not really interested in listening. In effect, they suffer from a hubris that can quickly affect top-tier-VC-backed entrepreneurs.
Few people thrive as entrepreneurs without healthy egos, an engaging ability to sell their ideas and an extraordinary determination to succeed. But when a launch deviates from the plan — as almost all do — these same qualities can get in the way of retooling for success. The founders who are most likely to succeed are the ones who also work at being open to advice and aren’t afraid to approach things differently.
When you’ve won several battles – including fundraising, team building and the launch process – it’s hard to imagine your strategy may be flawed. But ultimate victory may require hearing the unpleasant message of outside advisors.
